To my dear

Dear,
I just write it down. Hard to say in front at you. I don't know how to face you and our little children. They are just little. I din't give you a better life. I just give you more trouble to you. I know you always be a very best person in the world to help me. But, I just don't know why I am doing this. I let all my family and friends down.
Can you still call you dear? I will accept your refuse and I understand that.